


Discoveries in Q-Branch

by totalizzyness



Series: 00Q Prompts [31]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: M/M, POV Outsider, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 20:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalizzyness/pseuds/totalizzyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The minions finding out Q and Bond are married.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discoveries in Q-Branch

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Discoveries in Q-Branch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/886895) by [AprilforSpring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AprilforSpring/pseuds/AprilforSpring)



Q-Branch definitely weren’t stupid; vastly intelligent, actually. They all had a degree of some kind at least, some of the more seasoned employees had several doctorates.Most of them were, however, nerds and geeks of varying degrees. Their job didn’t require much human interaction, and that was how they liked it.

They were quirky and shy, some were definitely one superhero away from becoming a mad scientist. Lieutenant William Timothy Conygham (the third) was his own kind of bonkers — he liked to boast that if he didn’t have his job, he’d probably be down the park shouting at ducks.

But none of them were stupid. Crazy? Maybe. Shy? Definitely. Afraid of human interaction? Most likely.

They didn’t have degrees in human behaviour, or psychology, or knowing when your young genius boss was shagging one of the most dangerous men in Britain, but they weren’t blind, either. Bond never did things ‘just because’, and a lot fo Q-Branch employees had known him a long time. Almost no one was impervious to the agent’s charms.

People’s’ suspicions were aroused when Bond started spending more and more time in Q-Branch, in Q’s presence. At first it was harmless flirting, the usual lines and tricks Bond employed to everyone. Not long after, Q started flirting back, and Bond upped the ante. He started whisking Q away from his work, bringing him gifts from his missions.

It didn’t take a Q-Branch genius to realise they were dating. Several times a minion had walked into Q’s office to find the pair jerking apart, cheeks flushed and clothes rumpled. They never ‘outed’ themselves, however; they remained professional. They were never affectionate towards one another in public, only ever behind closed doors. Q didn’t get jealous when Bond had to sleep with someone on a mission, and Bond didn’t smother Q whenever someone tried to talk to him.

Everything changed one day. Q didn’t come into work, neither did Bond, and then they stopped being seen together. Bond only went to Q-Branch to get his equipment or for a talk. Q started leaving work earlier than usual.

The Q-Branch employees had suspected a break-up, which was a shame. Bond had become their mascot, and was always eager to test their latest equipment. Q had been happy, enough to let minor mistakes slide.

“Q’s not exactly miserable, though,” one minion said, watching Q’s movements about his station. He had a smile on his face and was quite happily soldering a circuit board. Another minion shrugged.

“He comes in sometimes looking well-shagged. Maybe he’s got someone else?”

“That quickly? One day he and Bond are all horny teenagers, the next day he’s got someone else?”

“Who knows!”

Another minion wandered over, joining the conversation. “Why not ask him?”

“Just walk up and ask: ‘Hey boss, are you and Double-Oh-Seven still shagging?’. I don’t think so!”

“You could always ask a little more professionally. Ask if Bond’s okay or something!”

The first minion grinned. “That’s a great idea!” He slipped from his seat and walked over to Q’s bench, clearing his throat politely. Q smiled up at him.

“Yes?”

“I was just wondering sir, is Agent Bond okay? It’s just we haven’t seen him in quite a while.”

Q’s smile didn’t falter. “He’s quite all right. M told him to stop lingering down here and gave him jobs to do instead.”

“Oh… Would he not be able to come test our equipment?”

“I’m sure you could ask.”

“Couldn’t you? Or… don’t you see him any more?”

“I see him plenty.”

The minion nodded, not wanting to push any further and retreated back to his desk, shrugging at his co-workers.

A couple of weeks later Bond was on a mission and Q was overseeing. He’d selected several minions to assist, the screens of the lab lit up, feeding Bond’s location and CCTV footage following his general whereabouts.

Bond got shot in the leg and was hiding, potentially moments away from his death.

“Back-up is on its way, Double-Oh. Don’t do anything reckless,” Q huffed, his fingers flying over his keyboard. Bond chuckled.

“You know me, Q, I’d never-”

“Don’t you dare, James! You’ve still got to come home and clean the mess you left in the bathroom!”

Several minions stopped what they were doing, looking to Q. Bond laughed again.

“You didn’t clean it up?”

“No I didn’t bloody clean it up! I left it for you! So you can get your arse home and clean it yourself!”

“Not really persuading me to come home.”

“I’m too young to be a widower, James!”

“Do you remember how I proposed?”

Q chuckled, still tapping at the keys. “You kidnapped me and took me to France.”

“They’d just legalised same-sex marriage, it made sense.”

“I don’t know why I cared, it’s not like I expected you to be romantic. Dragging me to France, and down the aisle.”

“France is full of romance.”

“And French people!”

Bond laughed. “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too, James. Now get your arse home. Back-up should have just arrived.”

“Confirmed. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Communication cut out; Q sighed and slumped back in his seat, pulling his headset off and dropping it onto his desk. A minion cleared their throat nervously.

“Sir?”

“You’re all dismissed. Find something to do.”

The minions began filing out of the room slowly. One stopped at Q’s side, gently touching his arm.

“Congratulations on your nuptials, sir.”

Q smiled weakly. “Thank you. Though if he keeps pulling crap like this I sense a divorce on the horizon.”

“Surely he can’t have messed the bathroom that bad.”

Q barked out a laugh, rubbing his forehead. “Yes, well…”

The minion smiled and left, met with a small crowd of fellow employees.

“Well?”

The minion shrugged. “They’re happily married. That’s all.”

The other minions sighed and got back to work.


End file.
